Female Grammar

Women just don’t understand grammar. I don’t care if she won a Booker Prize – if she’s got female parts, then she won’t get grammar. And I can prove it!

Correct Usage – I am concerned because something is wrong
Wrong Usage – I am concerned so something is wrong

Correct Usage – I did that a year ago
Wrong Usage – I am doing that a year ago

Correct Usage – I work hard to make money
Wrong Usage – I work harder to spend money

Correct Usage – I often shower twice a day
Wrong Usage – I always shower twice a day

Correct Usage – I want to buy groceries once a week
Wrong Usage – We want to buy groceries once a week

Correct Usage – It takes me about 30 minutes to get dressed
Wrong Usage – It takes me 5 minutes to get dressed

Correct Usage – I want a dog
Wrong Usage – I want a cat

Correct Usage – Wow! You drive so well!
Wrong Usage – Err.. what’s the hurry??


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